Should You Give Them a Second Chance?

11 Apr

Dear Broken Hearted Girl,

Everyone sees themselves as kind, sweet and forgiving. And why not? These are virtues we are all supposed to live up to. But when push comes to shove, it can be really difficult to give someone the benefit of the doubt – especially when you’re hurt in a relationship.

So when you’re hurt the first time, you probably at least consider forgiving the person who hurt you and try to mend the relationship and move forward. It’s great. Let’s hold hands. Kum Ba Ya.

But what happens when the person does the same awful thing again? Sucker!

Should you let go and move on? Or should you try yet again, knowing that this person may not change? Bet it all or cash out?

After living and learning a little bit, I’ve used these criteria when choosing to forgive someone yet a 3rd time:

1) How badly did the situation hurt me?
2) What actions (if any) can I take in the future to avoid this situation?
3) What do my friends and family think? (Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion. Maybe I’m justified?).
4) Would my life be easier without this person in it?
5) Would I be happier with a more drama-free existence?

Then I take all of the answers to those questions and decide. Sometimes life is easier when you cut ties with certain toxic individuals. But remember, you can always forgive someone without continuing a relationship in the future. Being bitter is never fun. And forgiveness is divine!

What do you consider when you’re decided whether or not to forgive someone a third time?

Feel better!


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