Breakups are hard on everybody involved. In today’s world of instant communication and social networking, it’s easy to write someone off without calling them or speaking with them face-to-face. But in doing so, you’re making yourself out to be a “Class-A” jerk and you’re inviting a great deal of stress into your life.
If you think about it, when you dump someone electronically, the dumpee ends up with a lot of questions - which usually leads to an immediate barrage of phone calls, voicemails, IM’s and emails. Not to mention the fact that the person will probably show up at your house demanding answers.
Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but if you’ve been dating someone for over a month or more, you should avoid these breakup scenarios:
(1) Text Message: Ask anybody and they know someone that has been dumped via text message. And you know what? Only the lowest of the low break up with their partners over text message. Imagine being with someone for months (or years!) only to glance at your phone one day and read, “It’s not working out. It’s over. Don’t call me.” It’s impersonal, it’s rude and it’s insensitive. You are an even worse person if you do it while your partner is at work.
(2) Facebook: When you dump someone by a mass newsfeed on Facebook, you’re not only letting your ex know that you’re a coward, but you’re letting all of their friends and family know it too. When a person’s status goes from “In a Relationship” to “Single,” all of their friends on Facebook will be notified that he/she is “No Longer in a Relationship.” Even worse, the person’s friends may find out before he/she does.
(3) Instant Message: Unlike the text message, the minute you dump your partner over IM, you can block them from responding. And if your partner needs to know “why,” they can easily be locked out of the conversation. Don’t be surprised if you do this and end up with your ex on your doorstep.
(4) Conveying the Message through a Friend: Seriously, what are you, in 7th grade or something?
(5) Email: This is last on the list because at least in an email you have the chance to give an explanation. But it still means you’re hiding behind your computer. When you finish a relationship this way, although you may be trying to “let the person down” easily with carefully chosen words, you’re still acting like a child.
When you’ve been dating someone for an extended period of time, do your partner and yourself a favor: grow up and end the relationship on the phone or in person. Take the time to have a conversation about it so your ex can understand the reasons behind the breakup. It takes a great amount of courage to do it, but at least you can make a clean break, begin to pick up the pieces and move forward with your life. And although it’s uncomfortable because your partner will be devastated, may try to bargain with you (I can change!), or beg you to stay - in the long-run, having “the talk” will help them to get over you more easily/quickly.
And if your partner cheated on you, hurt you physically, or did anything worse than that, feel free to ignore this advice.