What do you do when your boyfriend goes on vacation and doesn’t contact you?

11 Sep

Someone wrote to me about this, but didn’t want her email posted. But in a nutshell, she said that her boyfriend went on vacation to Vegas and has not called her for 3 days. She said that he generally calls her at least once a day and she is concerned. She has left him several voicemails and text messages, but has not received a return call. Should she call his hotel room? Or his mom? Or leave it alone?

So, this one time, I was dating this guy. And we were just starting to date and this is when I was a little nuts. And I pretty much was skittish about dating and at the time, I just was like – “If a guy treats me terribly, I’m done!” So he went away to Lake Tahoe and he didn’t call me for the entire week that he was there. I called him one time and texted him one time and figured that he was no longer interested. I ended up Fed-Ex-ing all of the stuff he left at my house and left him a note that was like, “Hey. You didn’t call. I feel like you’re not interested. Peace.”


The guy’s phone had no reception and he said he tried to text me, but to no avail. I felt like he could have called me from his hotel room…but then realized that was a lot to ask, since technically he wasn’t my boyfriend. Anyway, I tried to work it out, but he wasn’t having it. I acted like a crazy person and I totally understand why he was no longer interested.

But back to the girl whose boyfriend is in Vegas… 

Have you ever been to Vegas? It’s crazy. There are slot machines, and dancing, and drinking and partying…it’s crazy fun and you generally don’t sleep at all. Since you said you have been together for 3 years, I think that he’s probably just enjoying himself and enjoying his vacation. Maybe he has lost his phone. Maybe it is dead. You don’t know.

I would say, don’t do what I did. Don’t overreact. If you trust him, then I’m sure everything is fine. If you have reason not to trust him, then I would be a little worried. But there’s nothing you can do about it right at this very moment. Don’t call the hotel because you’ll seem needy. If something happened to him, I’m sure his mom would have called you, since you’ve been around for 3 years now.

When he gets back, TALK to him. IN PERSON! Don’t freak out. Be calm. Just tell him that you feel upset and concerned that he did not bother to call you. Ask him why he didn’t call. Listen to his answer. If you’re not satisfied, ask him the tough question: Did he cheat on you? 

Just don’t do what I did and freak out before you even know the story. Relationships are about communication. So communicate!

Take care,


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One Response to “What do you do when your boyfriend goes on vacation and doesn’t contact you?”

  1. raymond peters September 26, 2012 at 9:22 AM #

    I agree one should not freak out. However you have been wjth hjm for three years and he could not even call or text you? Must be on meth!!!! This is totally unceptible period. I would not ask him shit upon his return.

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