Even if I know that he wasn’t on my level and probably just wanted to use me etc… I still wish he would text or call. VALIDATION…Yes I know. No contact is for me but I wish I knew that in some way he is affected by my No Contact. That I caught him by surprise because I’m showing that I don’t care. SMH…I will never know what’s going on in someone’s mind, but I just wish I knew if he had forgotten about me. Am I missed? At this point in my life – especially after how he ended it – I shouldn’t care, but I do.
The boy is indifferent. You can basically throw a penny and hit any number of men who will treat you with indifference. And you’ll end up with the same result. You’ll feel used & you’ll feel like you wasted your time on someone who never took you seriously or treated you well. Trust me. I’ve been there too.
So what you need to do is figure out WHY in the first place you would choose to date such a loser. Was it because he was hot? Was it because he was charming? Don’t you think you’d do better to date UP instead of dating down? You know, dating someone who can intellectually stimulate you, who makes you laugh, who makes you feel secure – someone you’d be PROUD to introduce to your parents? Were you in a vulnerable position when you met your ex – is that why you let yourself date him? That’s the real question. I understand that you’re lonely and you feel like he has forgotten about you because he hasn’t reached out – that’s normal – but I wonder more about why you want THIS particular narcissistic ex-felon to provide you with validation? If I were you, I’d be thanking my lucky stars that he’s no longer in my life and I am free to meet someone on my level or above. Whether or not he wanted to “use” you has nothing to do with it. This is more about you than it is about him. I hope you realize that.
You sound smart. And you’ve done everything right. Unfortunately, a month isn’t all it takes to shake free of someone completely. It takes time, but it also takes work. So figure out why this particular douchebag meant to so much to you. Make some goals for yourself for the future. Stick to them. Let the clock tick and the days go by. Wake up every day feeling proud of yourself for sticking to No Contact. And live your life. As soon as you meet someone better – someone that you’re interested in – I promise you that you’ll be kicking yourself for ever dating this guy in the first place. Don’t give in and break No Contact. Just keep moving forward. He’s not worth it. You’ll understand that as time ticks by. Make sure your email me when you do meet someone new. And make sure that he’s not a lazy, narcissistic, ex-felon.
MJ is not currently giving advice, however, you can post your problems on BrokenHeartedGirl.com and others who are going through the same thing can help you for free!